Father and son daughter l 7 Lessons All Dads Should Teach

7 Lessons All Dads Should Teach

Yes, there will be a test at the end. It’s called life. Here’s how to make sure your kids ace it.

1) Words are Valuable

Speak up: Your kid is listening. In families with two working parents, fathers have a greater impact on their children’s language development by age 3 than mothers do, according to a study in the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology. Provide a creative, dramatic play-by-play of the activities you’re engaged in and your surroundings. Use big words, even if they’re unfamiliar to your kid. Children learn a lot by context.

2) Tantrums Earn You Nothing

“When your anxiety visibly rises, you add fuel to the fire,” says Hal Edward Runkel, a family therapist and the author of ScreamFree Parenting. And if you simply hand over a piece of candy, you encourage more bad behavior. Instead, when your kid starts shouting, be calm and attentive. Don’t ignore it. This signals that you will not be rattled and the child won’t win—ever. It may not work for the first tantrum, warns Runkel, but it’s magic by the fifth.

3) Competition Leads to Confidence

Children as young as 4 start to compete with their parents—sprinting to the car, wrestling on the sofa, stuff like that. Roll with it. Let them win a lot, and then slowly ramp it up so they have to work harder for their victories. “It’s a way for kids to develop a sense of strength and to let them test their muscles,” says Justin Richardson, M.D., who teaches psychiatry at Columbia University. They’ll start to walk more confidently and be less of a mark for bullies.

4) Quitting is Hard

When his son wanted to quit baseball at age 8, Runkel said to him, “Sure, but you have to tell your teammates and coach.” The boy couldn’t do it. He’s played for 7 years since. Show kids the pain of quitting, and they won’t make those kind of decisions lightly, Runkel says. “If your kid says a school project is too hard and that he wants to give up, that’s okay,” says Runkel. “But say, ‘Tell your teacher you’re quitting and that you’ll take whatever grade is appropriate.’ Trust me, he’ll stick it out.”

5) Other People’s Feelings Matter

It’s easier to connect with others if you understand their perspective, so nurture that instinct in your child. Start with the child’s own feelings. “Say, ‘Man, it must be hard being 8 years old. What’s the hardest part?‘ ” suggests Runkel. Then mention people your kid knows who are having a hard time—say, a friend whose dad lost his job. Ask what he thinks it’s like for that friend. “They won’t always have an answer, but they’re thinking about it,” Runkel says.

6) Fights Can Be Resolved

Unless one kid is dangling the other out the window, don’t say a word. “As soon as you become involved, they no longer care about a solution. They’ll only try drafting you to their side,” says child psychologist Anthony Wolf, Ph.D., the author of Mom, Jason’s Breathing on Me! The Solution to Sibling Bickering. If they pester you, say your solution will be bad for both of them. They’ll learn that pleading is fruitless. More important, they’ll learn quickly to compromise.

7) Independence is Earned

When your kids ask to stay later at a friend’s house, ask what time would work for them. Then ask why. If you don’t hear a good answer, it’s okay to say no. If you do, try it, says Pennsylvania-based psychologist Janet Edgette, Psy.D. When parents give children freedom and responsibility, studies show, the children develop stronger morals more quickly.

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We all want to raise our little ones to be polite and well behaved, and learning those lessons starts at home. It's never too early to teach your little ones basic manners! Here are eight of the most important manners you should try to teach your little ones before they go to school. They won't remember them all, or get them right every time, but patience and perseverance should get you through:

1. Always say please and thank you.
Whether they're activities as small as giving your little one a snack, or them asking if they can play in the garden, always reinforce the importance of saying please and thank you. No matter how young your children are, you can't start enforcing this rule too early!

2. Table manners
When your tiny tots are just learning to eat at the table, start teaching them the manners you'd like them to have for the rest of their lives! Rules like not eating with their mouths open, or not putting their elbows on the table, are good life lessons for your children to learn as soon as possible.

3. Play dates
When you're little ones go on play dates, or to birthday parties, remind them to thank their friends parents for having them over. If you aren't going to be attending the play date or event with your little one, ensure your little ones know they should treat their friends parents (and all grown-ups) with the same respect they treat you.

4. Birthday party etiquette
It's often said that kids go wild at birthday parties - all the sweet snacks and fun can make little ones get excited, and sometimes forget their manners. But no matter how excited your little one is on their birthday, there are some manners they shouldn't forget: to open their presents thoughtfully (not ripping off the paper, or tossing the present to one side as soon as they've seen it) and to say thank you for every gift, and to every attendee.

5. Mind the language
There will come a moment every parent dreads: the moment your little one swears. And then finds it funny! The worst thing you can do in this scenario is laugh. Let them know that you already know that word, you think it's unpleasant, not funny, and ask your little one not to use it again!

6. Don't be mean
Kids tease each other, and they find it funny. But this can sometimes go a step too far and lead to bullying. Make sure your little ones don't call others mean names, and don't make fun of anyone for any reason. Ganging up on someone else is cruel, not clever.

7. Excuse me!
Once your little ones have mastered saying please and thank you, teach them to say excuse me. It's the polite thing to say when you have to interrupt someone, or bump into somebody.

8. TMI!
There are some things that are too much information, and that your little ones shouldn't talk about in public! These include genitals, poo, nose picking, and all the other gory things that amuse kids!

Saturday, June 18, 2011 by deivam P Mohanraj · 0